When you're young, young as in early childhood, the world seems so simple, and secure, and fuck, its really the ultimate high. You might have not realized it then, or remember it now, but it is a golden age following a dark age, that being infancy. When you are a child you have progressed to a stage of existence in where you can, for the first time, understand the world around you, in such a basic but stimulating way, colours, light, sounds, touch, smell and taste. And most of us remember that stage fondly; my favourite colour was red, I was put off by the flash of a camera, birds chirping, stroking the smooth coat of fur of my pet cat.
And then one day, just another day in paradise, it comes to a crashing halt, usually just preceding adolescence, maybe a relative, or a pet dies, maybe illness strikes, or some other horrific shit, it causes us to reanalyze what the world is, while multiple interpretations exist, the end conclusion is rarely pleasant. The triggering event is always different, its never the same for any one individual. However the root causes are exactly the same. Those root causes being one singular root cause, and that root cause being an ever growing capacity for intelligence. I mean these things happened before. The WTC was attacked twice in my child hood, people died each time, the media sensationalized it both times, and I'm not saying they were right or wrong in either case, what I am saying is I took notice the second time, and what was different at the time of the second attack? I had a higher intelligence and thus a greater capability to comprehend what was going on around me.
And then the high is over, and the pain and suffering that was, as I said, there all along, well, it [pain and suffering] takes hold. And there it is; welcome to your life. Hopefully you didn't fuck up your education, because if so, it makes a shitty situation even yet more shitty. Oh sure you can slap on a dumb fuck smile and skip to your lou till your hearts content, but that really only masks up the smell of shit in the air dunnint? It doesn't stop people from killing eachother, it doesn't stop rape, or genocide, or child abuse. You know somewhere a troubled young mother is tossing out her newborn baby son in a dumpster alongside a stale and rotting take out order of expired perishables; you know right as you're reading this some asshole fuck poacher is slaughtering an elephant or a tiger just for a tooth or a tusk to sell on the black market, its a fact a poor tourist from the bleeding heart 1st world is being lured to gang rape in some third world shit hole right this moment, and how many people have died at the hands of another human today is anyone's guess, all this shit goes on, there's no stopping it; the only real choice you as an individual have is whether or not you choose to face facts, to see the universe for the infinite, immortal and indiscriminate space of neutrality that it is.
The universe doesn't give a fuck how many homeless you served at a soup kitchen today, it doesn't care what book of lies you've read cover to cover, whether it be the koran, bible or torah. It doesn't care how many people you held the door for, how many people you prayed and cried for just as it doesn't care how many people you've shit on to get ahead, how many times you've cheated, lied, stole, beaten, raped or murdered. It just doesn't care either way. At the end of today, or at the beginning or tomorrow, it created all, and it will destroy all. If you think otherwise you're only fooling yourself. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't accomplish today, it will inevitably count for nothing, and the only reason we as humans see so as a negative is because we have evolved to the point to where we hold survival instincts, its unhealthy not to see reality as a negative... but so it is to consciously reject reality only to substitute it with fantasy.
Yes, the ability to see things one way or another, the one thing the universe never had, freedom of thought. You can utilize that freedom however you want, to fight and challenge the endless plane of obsticals before you, but its a losing battle. You're finite, the universe is infinite; you're mortal, the universe is immortal. You cant make sense out of something that makes no sense. Sometimes... sometimes you just have stop fighting what can't be fought, sometimes you just have to let what seemingly gave you freedom take you, to genuinely be liberated.
